I woke up this morning with the words ringing in my ears, “You’re always in your own head”.
I thought of many failed communications. Times when I really expressed myself. Times when I let my hair down and said exactly how I felt. Times when I shared myself without editing.
Those were useful times for me, to expose my thoughts to the light of day, but they were not powerful.
Communication happens between 2 or more people. It’s not a private conversation with yourself. It becomes powerful when it’s truly shared.
If you want to communicate something there needs to be a point. And that point is somewhere between you and the other person. If you communicate entirely in their language you add nothing to their experience. if you express yourself without regard to their point of view you don’t meet them at all.
So powerful communication is an art which requires us to know ourselves and know the other person (or people). We have something to express which is uniquely our perspective, but we need to share it with someone who has a different perspective.
This is not just a question of finding the middle ground. That limits both perspectives. Truly powerful communication happens when we transcend the limited perspectives of each person and create something new from both of them. It’s an alchemical process that elevates everyone involved. Each participant comes away richer than they were before.
Communication is truly an art.