The way we’ve learned to work is a very mental process. We usually solve problems by applying our mind. It works to a certain extent, especially with practical issues, but the mind is not very good at human relationships. It’s like trying to relate to a robot. There’s no feeling of connection or human warmth. Just mental brilliance.
If you want to influence people it’s important to be able to relate to them. And in order for that to happen, you need to be able to open your heart. It’s very likely, if you’re like most people, that you closed your heart a long time ago. It may have cracked open from time to time since then, but all too often it closes down again because it feels safer.
This has usually started in childhood. Whenever you get hurt, you close your heart. It’s a natural response. When you close our heart repeatedly, which most of us have done throughout our life, you close down a part of yourself. Gradually you feel more and more disconnected from life. It takes the shine out of life.
You start to feel you’re closed off from everything and everybody and you can end up feeling there’s a veil between you and the rest of the world. It’s a layer of separation. I experienced it for years. Even when I was in a beautiful place I couldn’t fully feel it. I didn’t feel fully alive.
When you learn how to open your heart again, it reconnects you with life and yourself. You do this by healing all the relationships where you’ve been hurt in the past. It’s a specialist job to get started, but it’s quite easy to learn. There’s a process-based around forgiveness that’s very powerful for healing the past and opening you up again.
You’ll know you need this if people tend to accuse you of being closed, not connecting deeply or being cut off. Also if you have any relationship problems, at home or at work, it’s likely to be more connected with your heart than your mind. Trying to use the mind to solve it will take a very long time and will not create a deep, lasting solution. You’ll be putting off the problem until it resurfaces later, more entrenched and more challenging next time around.
We haven’t had the education or awareness in past generations to transform this, so it is new territory for many people. The beautiful thing about it is that it opens you up to love which is what everybody wants to experience more. So, to be able to love better, you need to open your heart.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s in business or personal life. Love is the food of life, it makes everything turn around. So having more of it within yourself is a profoundly better experience of life than staying closed. And it will make a huge difference to your impact.
People will wonder what’s changed about you. They’ll warm to you much more easily and feel comfortable in your presence. There’ll be less drama and more real interaction. And you can solve problems at a level of speed and effectiveness that the mind can’t begin to comprehend.
Related blog posts: