Miracles have been getting a bad press recently. So many promises have been made over the years by so many teachers, but many people have not experienced the results they expected. And yet, I want to hold out for miracles.
Another one happened just yesterday.
The most common miracles for me take place in relationships. I usually get to hear about people’s relationships when there is a lot of anger, disappointment and blame (or much worse). Of course it is always the other person who is apparently behaving really badly.
I know from personal experience that even when you are very conscious and have done a lot of spiritual work, the minute your partner starts to do something that triggers you it is amazing how fast you can drop into blame and making him/her wrong (and yourself right).
And for all women out there, I am willing to bet that when you can avoid getting into blame it is because you are trying to fix him. So you come across as if you have all the answers and you are in control, while he is the poor struggling guy, or the nasty guy, or the lost unconscious guy, or the arrogant guy…….or a whole lot more. And it drives him crazy or he just shuts down and stops responding. And then of course you think he needs fixing all the more.
There is no real communication in this scenario. Most conversations seem to go along familiar tramlines that you have been along before. Neither of you really listens or understands the other person. Both tend to feel self righteous. And it can stay like that for days.
The sad thing is when it stays like that (or different versions of the same) for months or years. This is where relationships get into deep trouble. Habits grow up of not listening, not respecting, not understanding and eventually not loving each other.
But there is an astonishing power in relationships which is awoken when you solve these issues. I have found that it is precisely these situations that open the door to your own true self. And the most beautiful thing is that when you change yourself the other person changes too.
You may feel you have heard all this before and that it’s not as simple as I have described. I understand, because when you are in the middle of misunderstanding each other in a relationship it can be infuriating to have someone come along and say that when you change yourself the other person will change – especially if they appear to you not to have changed in 15 or 20 years.
But I just got a phone call from someone who made a very deep recognition about herself yesterday (once she got over the blame, anger and more blame). And guess what – her partner apparently changed overnight and all her complaints about him have evaporated, just like that.
I know that doesn’t mean they will live happily ever after. More issues will come up, but they will be able to deal with them the same way and experience another miracle each time. And as they build up the smaller and larger miracles over the years they will come to love each other very deeply and be extremely grateful to each other for all those scenarios of non-communication that brought them closer together.
There is a trick to this – a deep understanding of how relationships work that will help you unlock the situation, and it is different in every case. But it is not very difficult to find it once you have learned how to do it.
So I want to say that miracles are really possible in relationships – in ways you may not even be able to imagine. They are not very difficult to experience, because you do not need the other person to cooperate. You just need to be willing to take responsibility yourself and get some guidance on how to do it.
It is the most wonderful, if humbling, experience to realise just how powerful you are to change your life. It is not worth complaining about another person, once you have this knowledge. It is so much better to solve the problem, because in doing so you will come to love yourself more than ever before and in turn you will find you receive more love from the other person as well. It feels miraculous when it happens and it can happen to anyone.
If this resonates with you and you would like to experience what I am describing, please have a look at my eCourse, Open Your Heart.