How to Ask a Better Question
I often have a big question rolling around in my head. I play with it, tease it out and experiment with different answers to see what they feel like. It’s the main way I research new solutions to problems.
I notice that some people don’t ask very good questions, especially when they’re depressed, sick or struggling with problems. Those are times when they ask “Why am I so useless? What’s wrong with me? Why’s my life so difficult? What if it never gets better? Why do I have so many problems?”
I understand why these questions arise, but they’re particularly unhelpful. Whatever questions you ask will produce answers but what difference will it make to know why you’re so useless? It’s only likely to make you feel even more useless. There are so many reasons why your life is difficult, but none of them is likely to show you how to make it easier. They tend to confirm all your reasons for feeling bad and then what can you do but stay there.
On the other hand when you’re feeling good you ask different kinds of questions. You might find yourself wondering how you can experience something good, or how you can solve a problem, or how you can achieve something that matters to you. These questions also get answered, sometimes in the early morning or when you’re relaxed. And the answers are usually really helpful.
There’s a simple rule I apply to see what makes a good question. I imagine myself answering it and then I check if the answer is going to improve my life or not.
Really bad questions
Why am I such a loser?
Why does nothing good ever happen to me?
How is it possible to fail so many times?
What’s wrong with my life?
What if it never gets better?
How can I feel better?
What can I do to improve my life?
What successes have I had recently (however small)?
What’s working well in my life at the moment?
What’s one thing I can do today that will make me feel better?
Even better questions
How can I make a difference to someone else today?
How can I share my gifts or talents with other people so we all benefit?
What do I have to share with others?
What change would I love to see in the world and how can I personally contribute to it?
What’s one thing I can do today that will make the world a better place?
I’m sure you have some much better questions than these. Please share them with me, as I love to expand my capacity for asking questions. I find it brings in healing, answers, solutions and sometimes miracles.