Do you remember the early years of your relationship? Was it more romantic than now? Could you go back to that?
Maybe, but maybe you wouldn’t really want to.
I’ve observed that the real beauty in an intimate relationship lies in its growth and development over many years. When there are problems these are the key times when we’re shifting into a new stage of maturity. It opens up a new level and depth of love and connection, if you don’t panic and think it’s all going wrong.
Change brings turbulence. It helps a lot, as a human being, to be able to handle change well. Then you know when to quit and when to weather the storm.
I found it very helpful to discover that romance is not a particularly high level of consciousness. It’s a positive, opening experience but there are many much deeper and more satisfying levels of love than romance. I stopped thinking that my level of romance was a measure of my love and started to explore what it really means to love another human being,
I’ve come across couples who are wondering whether they’re heading for separation, when in fact there’s a huge opportunity for them to explore a much greater and more fulfilling experience of love together. It takes years to reach this level and I haven’t seen any shortcuts. It’s one of the great human experiences – growing our ability to love.