This is one of the great challenges of being human. We can experience a lot of resistance, fear, and unwillingness to really love when life feels hard. And yet, so much beauty and truth open up if we find the courage to love rather than to be right. or try to reject, ignore, or escape from what’s going on.
So let’s explore how to do this.
Find a situation in your life where you’re finding it hard to love. It might be at work, in your family, or somewhere else. Usually when we feel challenged, our energy shoots up into our head so we won’t feel any pain. From there we can run away into imagination, feign ignorance, get self-righteous, or rely on outright rejection. We find any way we can to push the situation away from our attention. But doing so is very ungrounding.
So the first step in finding the courage to love in difficult situations is to ground your energy. Real love doesn’t happen in your mind or up in some cloud-filled sky. It happens with your feet on the ground, a deep connection to earth, and a willingness to face reality here and now.
To ground, stand for a few minutes with your feet shoulder-width apart and let your energy drop down into the ground and deep down into the earth. Feel it as it connects down into the energy of the planet.
The next step is to face is to face the facts, both about yourself and any other person who’s involved. When you turn towards the situation to see it clearly, without emotion or drama, your courage grows. If you’re willing to stay real, connected, present, and aware, however uncomfortable it may be, you’ll start to feel a rock-like strength as your energy grounds.
In facing the facts, it’s important to let go of mentally editing the situation to try to make it different from what it is. There’s power in the truth, so turn towards it, face it, and let go of the need to fix it. Listen between the lines to see what’s really happening and be solid in your ability to look at what you don’t want to see. Don’t rush to come to conclusions or to make everything alright.
If it feels like your world’s falling down, collapsing in the face of the truth, let it fall down and keep facing reality. This is letting go of your illusions, old beliefs, and old habits. It’s a powerful moment of transformation, even if it’s hard to know that at the time.
If you can keep facing reality with your feet on the ground, and keep letting go of your old ideas about how life should be, you’ll find your courage. It’s in the reality of life – the challenges and difficulties – that you’ll discover your brave heart and your capacity for love. That capacity grows slowly in its own time, as long as you don’t try to force it.
Stand tall, even as the world appears to collapse around you. Stand tall, even when you have no idea what’s really going on. Stand for the truth. Stand for love. Stand for courage.
Love has the power to transform you, and you have the power to transform situations. So find the courage to face reality and let love emerge. And remember that when you’re facing difficult situations, bringing love may not be easy. It will take time and require you to look deeply into yourself. But love is the key that unlocks your deep creativity and the most beautiful outcomes.
And love makes life feel right.